Best Humor |
My socks DO match. They're the same
thickness. Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour. I have two very rare photographs. One is a picture of Houdini locking his keys in his car. The other is a rare photograph of Norman Rockwell beating up a child. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, "Do you want white cake or chocolate cake?" I said, "yes". My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year. I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list. My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the
stairs. All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink? If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. |